you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
