That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
