But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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