so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
