Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
