She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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