I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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