Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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