: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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