Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize