It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
