she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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