Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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