I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
