So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize