Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
