I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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