the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
