Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
