There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
