Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
