wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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