i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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