I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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