The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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