Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
