Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
