toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
