Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
