her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He did a backflip because drugs
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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