About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He shit in the fireplace
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