You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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