this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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