I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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