I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
