He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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