I seem to have left my pride at pride
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
