Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
