If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Its about making memories worth repressing
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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