Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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