In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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