some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
