Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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