I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
