I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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