Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
