Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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