After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
