i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
