Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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