CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
