If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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