i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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