I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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