the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There r osticjed everywhere
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
