Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
