he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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