I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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