Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize