why didn't you poke me back
Soap is not a condiment
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
