Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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