in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
