There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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